The 4 Flavours of Love
Every day is an opportunity to receive and share love, but the month of February—especially Valentine’s Day—seems to be the most important time of the year. Valentine’s Day is celebrated globally, and in the era of social media, the love fever is intense. From business vendors curating hampers and gift items, urging people to buy and appreciate their loved ones, to content creators sharing tips on how lovers, couples, and family members can stay connected—love is everywhere.
Undeniably, love is a beautiful feeling worth experiencing, but it also comes with responsibilities and requires effort to sustain. The demands of love can be daunting yet enjoyable. This is why couples starting their married life usually go through a series of counseling sessions or traditional rites from loved ones, preparing them for the journey ahead. Staying married goes beyond the feeling of love—it requires acts of love.
There are many rites in West African culture, such as jumping the broom, which symbolizes that love requires work. A significant rite originating from the Yoruba tribe, located in Nigeria and Benin, is the tasting of the four elements.
What Are the Four Flavours?
The four flavours, also known as the four elements, are honey, lemon, vinegar, and cayenne pepper—each representing different seasons couples face in married life. These seasons are inevitable and highlight the enduring nature of love in all circumstances: wealth or poverty, health or sickness, joy or sorrow.
During this marriage rite, African couples are presented with these four flavours to taste and reflect on the journey of love and commitment.
What Do They Signify?
Each flavour carries a lesson for lovebirds, but no one needs to wait until marriage or be of African or Yoruba descent to grasp the wisdom these elements offer. Lovers, couples, and even family members can learn valuable insights from them—especially as another Valentine’s season approaches.
Ideally, the first two flavours—lemon and vinegar—are not what lovers or couples hope for, but they are unavoidable:
Lemon or Lime (Sourness): This represents the challenges of marriage and love life, such as financial struggles that prevent couples from living their dream life, the loneliness of long-distance relationships due to work or health reasons, or even the pain of delayed parenthood.
Vinegar (Bitterness): This flavour symbolizes rejection, jealousy, and denial. Lovers sometimes disagree on issues or find themselves at odds when one partner makes a decision that does not favor the other. It can also represent self-sacrifice—such as a man rejecting a lucrative job promotion to avoid a long-distance marriage or a woman pausing her career to take care of the home.
On the other hand, cayenne pepper and honey represent the more pleasurable aspects of love and marriage:
Cayenne Pepper (Heat): This signifies passion and sexual attraction between lovers.
Honey (Sweetness): This represents affection, admiration, and unwavering support in a relationship.
Fruits or Foods That Represent the Flavours
Bitterness: Vinegar, coffee, kale, herbal peppermint, bitter kola, butter leaf, etc.
Sweetness: Honey, pastries, chocolate, cherries, dates, ice cream, etc.
Heat: Cayenne pepper, chili pepper, cumin, radishes, peppercorns, ginger, cinnamon, etc.
Sourness: Lemon, grapefruit, lime, tamarind, kombucha, raw pap, etc.
Lessons to Learn
These flavours remind us that love is not a fairytale or a fantasy—it is a conscious decision that requires commitment to endure the different seasons of life. Love lasts when partners choose to embrace every “flavour” together. Some seasons may last longer than others, but every experience has an end and a new beginning.
This Valentine’s season, as we celebrate our loved ones, let’s remember that love is not just for one sweet season—it should endure through all seasons.